1 October 2025

This Month in Queer Religious History*

National Coming Out Day (October 1988)

Every year we celebrate the 11th of October as National Coming Out Day, a powerful annual reminder of the importance of visibility, authenticity, and freedom for LGBTQ+ individuals. With roots in the political activism of the late 1980s, National Coming Out Day has expanded to hold profound spiritual significance for many LGBTQ+ people navigating faith, spirituality, and identity.

Logo designed by Keith Haring

 

Robert Eichberg and Jean O’Leary chose 11 October 1988 as the first National Coming Out Day to commemorate the first anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. Convinced that homophobia thrives in an atmosphere of silence and ignorance, Eichberg and O’Leary also believed that once people know that they have loved ones who are LGBTQ, they are far less likely to maintain homophobic views and support (through action or inaction) anti-LGBTQ political movements.

Eichberg, who died in 1995 of complications from AIDS, was a psychologist from New Mexico and the founder of the personal growth workshop “The Experience”, while O’Leary was an openly lesbian political leader and long-time activist from New York who was head of the National Gay Rights Advocates.

O’Leary and Eichberg decided to create National Coming Out Day with a twofold purpose: they wanted to give people the safety of a community experience to be themselves, and they also understood the political power in coming out. Like many queer activists, Robert and Jean wanted to promote the idea of “coming out of the closet” as an occasion for positivity and celebration.

Eighteen states and several cities participated in the first National Coming Out Day in 1988, and the Day’s rapid growth was truly remarkable: by 1990, the day was recognized in some way in all fifty US states and in seven countries.

Coming out celebrates a process of self-discovery and acceptance; it reflects one’s courage to live authentically, even in the face of religious and societal condemnation. The spiritual significance of coming out stems from its connection to integrity. To live openly and honestly as one’s true self aligns one’s inner and outer realities. This alignment can be profoundly liberating, fostering a sense of wholeness and connection to something larger than oneself. For LGBTQ+ people who have internalized messages of shame or unworthiness from religious or societal sources, coming out can be an act of spiritual defiance—a rejection of limiting beliefs and a reclamation of one’s inherent dignity as a human person.

Many LGBTQ+ individuals find that coming out leads to a deeper understanding of their spiritual path. By challenging traditional religious norms, they are often forced to re-evaluate their beliefs and develop a more authentic relationship with faith. This can involve finding affirming religious communities, reinterpreting sacred texts, and/or embracing new spiritual practices. As Schlager and Kundtz emphasize, for many people coming out is not a one-time event but rather a continuous journey of integration, where individuals strive to harmonize their public and private identities (Ministry among God’s Queer Folk, 2019).

The act of coming out can also be a catalyst for healing. Many LGBTQ+ people carry deep wounds from experiences of rejection, discrimination, and trauma, often connected to the real harm suffered in religious communities. Coming out can be a way to process these experiences, to connect with others who share similar journeys, and to find support. The spiritual dimension of this healing lies in the recognition of one’s inherent worth as a person deserving of love, acceptance, and belonging.

For many people, of course, coming out can lead to painful confrontations with family, friends, or religious authorities. This can lead to feelings of isolation, grief, and even spiritual crisis. Pastoral caregivers can play a crucial role in supporting LGBTQ+ individuals through these challenges by offering deep sensitivity, active listening, and affirming resources (Ministry among God’s Queer Folk, 2019).

Coming out can be an unpredictable rite of passage because some people experience joy and acceptance, while others face rejection or discrimination, at least initially. Yet, despite these challenges, many LGBTQ+ people find that coming out leads to a richer and more meaningful spiritual life. By embracing their authentic selves, queer people who have come out often connect with their faith in ways that are both personally fulfilling and socially transformative. They can – and often do – become advocates for inclusion and justice, challenging religious intolerance and creating more welcoming spaces for LGBTQ+ people of faith.

As we celebrate the 37th anniversary of National Coming Out Day in 2025, let us honor the profound spiritual significance of this journey. Let us commit to supporting LGBTQ+ individuals in their quest for authenticity and to building faith communities where everyone can live openly, with dignity and love.

SOURCES

This Month in Queer Religious History

*Each month during 2025-2026, our 25th anniversary year, CLGS is honoring an individual, event, or movement of consequence in queer religious history. Although we will be able to highlight only a very few of those individuals and movements that have contributed to the thriving of LGBTQ+ persons and communities throughout history, we are eager to share with you the stories of some of the people and movements that have created positive change for LGBTQ+ people, our families, and our communities.